I received an email earlier this week from a very nice person. Basically, it said “I’ve really appreciated your advice and words of comfort in the past but I’m bowing out now. I do not appreciate the f-word being used in daily life – especially in my grief journey – and cannot condone the practice.”
My response? “I respect your decision and wish you nothing but the best moving forward.”
Why do I share? Because, very honestly, I DO respect everyone’s decisions when it comes to their own grief journey. And, I know there is so much hurt in the world that I truly want the best for everyone.
That being said – why is this experience named Feel Your F&*@ing Feels?
Don’t get me wrong: I thought loooooooong and haaaaaaaard when it came to finding the ‘perfect’ name for this experience. I could have gone with a silly little platitude: “Grow through what you Go through” or “Everything happens, YOU find the reason” …but I didn’t…
I specifically wanted something messy and dirty. Something authentically honest. Something that is stripped down to the bones of what it is – with nothing to hide.
Why? Because grief brings out the very best and very worst of you. Your heart is shattered. You’re in excruciating pain. And you’re grasping for something, anything to make it better. Grief is dark and grief is nasty.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t really throw around 4-letter words like confetti. When you hear it come out of my mouth you take pause – you know I’m about to say something I want you to hear. I’m making a f&*@ing statement.
‘Eff-ing’ is so ‘multifaceted’ it gives the speaker power to mold the story how they choose.
‘That word’ is taboo – much like talking about (or really having our) grief. It’s raw and honest.
There is science proving you are stronger and feel better when you curse.
So, I don’t take the word lightly – and I also don’t use it to put you out. I use it as a way to let you know what you’re getting into. That we’re gonna get really messy before we start to clean up. That I want you to be authentically you – and if that means you wanna punch, kick, and curse that’s alright.
If this speaks to you like it spoke to me, then come take a look at the ‘Feel Your F&*@ing Feels‘ experience and let’s get dirty.