Supporting Families Through Post-Holiday Grief: A Professional Funeral Home Aftercare Guide

{or, When the tinsel starts coming down the tears still do too}

As funeral service professionals that get the importance of offering bereavement support, let’s talk about the January phenomenon “everyone knows about” but nobody discusses: Post-Holiday Grief. Doing what you do and providing services and resources to your families, you must see this play out in your funeral home year after year.

You know…that moment when a family you served during the holidays stops by to pick up additional death certificates and you can just see that look in their eyes – that “the world continues to spin but we’re still ‘stuck’” look? Or the “decorations are packed away, ‘new year, new me’ toxic-positivity posts are flooding my IG feed, and here I am, just trying to remember the last time they brushed their teeth” look. Yeah, you know.

Here’s the thing about post-holiday grief that nobody wants to acknowledge: it’s like a stealthy little ninja. While everyone else is setting resolutions and “getting back to normal” {…whatever that means…}, your families are sitting there thinking “What the h3ll’s going on around here – is this real life?”

Let’s break down what’s really happening here {because sometimes you just gotta #NameItToTameIt}…

Understanding Post-Holiday Grief in Funeral Service:

**Picture this** Your funeral home served multiple families during the holidays. Now it’s January, and while everyone else is hitting the gym, these families are hitting the wall. They’re dealing with:

• The “Everyone’s Moving Forward But Me” Blues: You know, the “my neighbor won’t stop talking about their amazing Christmas with the whole family while your family is still trying to decide if Hanukkah ever needs to be celebrated again.” feeling.
• The Delayed Grief Tsunami: Because – apparently – grief likes to wait until all the ‘holiday hustle-bustle distraction confetti’ settles before it decides to show up…fashionably late…like an uninvited party guest.
• The “First Major Holiday” Aftermath: We’ve seen it before – the family who made it through the funeral with remarkable composure; hosted Christmas dinner “because that’s what Mom would have wanted;” then breaks down like a cheap tractor when taking down Mom’s special ornaments in January. {PS: these moments aren’t failures – they’re necessary parts of the journey.}
• The “New Year, Same Empty Chair” Reality Check: While everyone else is picking their “word of the year” and setting resolutions, your families are just trying to find words to describe their pain and picking up the pieces. 

Common Post-Holiday Scenarios in Funeral Homes:

So what do these really look like in your day-to-day? {Because sometimes examples are worth a thousand words}

• • The Death Certificate Visit: Mrs. Johnson comes in for additional death certificates and lingers in your office for an uncomfortably long time. You know she’s not really there for the paperwork. She’s there because your funeral home is the last place she was able to “be with Mr. Johnson.”
• The Memorial Service Plan Follow-Up: The Smiths seemed rushed during December’s at-need planning – between holiday travels and out-of-town relatives, everything felt hurried. Now they’re back, wanting to plan a more detailed celebration of life. January just brings these “we need to do more” moments.
• The “Just Driving By” Drop-In: When Mr. Wilson shows up unannounced, claiming he was “just driving by,” {even though your funeral home isn’t on the way to, well, anywhere}, what he’s really saying is “I need a safe place to not be okay today.” {This is where having a structured grief support program can make a big difference…}

Professionals Bereavement Support Strategies:

Your families probably need grace and guidance right now – and it’s something you can give them!

1. Permission to Still Need Support: Let’s be real – January isn’t the time for “they’re in a better place” / “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle” platitudes. It’s the time for “we’re still here, they’re not, it’s okay to be struggling. I’m here to ‘sit in this suck’ with you.”
2. A Game Plan For the “How Were Your Holidays?”: Because Karen at the grocery store doesn’t need the full story {in fact, she’s probably completely oblivious to the fact that she just ask an activating question}…but your families might benefit from having a ‘script’ ready to handle these well-meaning (and painful) questions
3. The “No Resolution Required” Permission Slip: Can we just all agree that whoever decided January should be all about “new year, new you” was either a personal trainer or an MLM promoter? Clearly never worked in funeral service…

Practical Aftercare Program Tools:

Funeral service grief support requires a delicate balance. Here’s what your bereavement care program could consider: {because we need some actual tools in our funeral service toolbox}: 

• Suggest your families develop what I call their “Pocket Rocket Responses” – quick, grab-n-go answers that protect their energy while honoring their truth. Something like “It was different this year, but we’re taking it day by day.” or “Billy was definitely missed. We made sure to still [fill in the blank] though.’ can really work wonders for both sides of the question asking. 
• Create a “Holiday Memory Corner” in your arrangement room where families can actually see that the dichotomy of remembrance and celebration can coexist. 
• Keep a running list of local in-person and virtual support groups that meet in January {because the holidays often delay people from seeking support – or families are ‘too busy’ the last few weeks of the year.} 
• Consider hosting a post-holiday remembrance event – something as simple as a “New Year Memorial Coffee Hour” or a “Memory Vision Board Make and Take” …you could even consider doing something ongoing like a Death Café.

Self-Care for Funeral Service Professionals:

And you can’t forget about your funeral service professionals and support staff – because they need support and self-care too: 

• Check your own post-holiday emotional temperature {Because you can’t pour from an empty cup, and let’s be honest, December probably drained yours}
• Set up what I call “Grief Guard Rails”. These are your professional boundaries that help you stay present for families while protecting your team’s emotional well-being. They help to keep everyone psychologically safe while allowing space for the necessary journey.

Actionable Aftercare Steps:

And {because we all love a good list} here are some action steps your funeral aftercare team and families can take to ease their suffering:

For Your Team: 

• Review your December funeral services, memorial planning, and aftercare support needs – which families might need extra support?
• Set up your January aftercare calendar…then consider doing so for the rest of the year too
• Stock up on resources: handouts, flyers, brochures, swag {because January brings visitors}
• Create a structured “First Year Calendar” for each family, marking significant dates {or you could create a worksheet and make it your event! (Or better yet, just use our template…)}
• Create January check-in cards that acknowledge the post-holiday challenge
• Develop a comprehensive bereavement support resource care guide for families facing their first post-holiday season
• Consider offering a special Token + Locket package as part of your aftercare program {of course I have to give a little shout out to our flagship offering!}

For Your Families:

• Create what I call “Grief Anchors” – physical reminders, like our pieces, that ground them in their journey. …there’s a reason it works so well and our entire organization is built around the concept…
• Help them identify their support systems {in-person, virtual, near, far – if they gain strength from it it can be part of their support system}
• Develop their “January Survival Strategy” {which might be looking at memorial photos, partaking in self-care, or doom scrolling on tiktok for an extra 10 minutes…and that’s all totally valid}

Remember, you’re not just their funeral director; you’re a crucial part of these families’ grief and healing journeys {whether you want to be or not}. And sometimes, that journey includes messy chapters, tear-stained guest books, and post-holiday visits nobody saw coming.

[Want to enhance your funeral home’s professional grief support and aftercare services with our Token + Locket program? (Or, maybe, BE your aftercare marketing service)? Leave us a comment below or Get In Touch… I promise I’m more fun to talk to than this blog post suggests …well, maybe, most days… 😉]