That probably seems back-@$$-wards – I know, I know; I’m mixing math with language and sprinkling in a little ‘Crystal sass’ to boot!
Growing up I’m sure you were taught the differences between wants and needs:
I NEED: water, food, shelter, clothing…well, that’s about it
I WANT: a new cell phone, the fancy car, gourmet food {not the expensive stuff, just the kind that’s made with liquor}, a 6-pack (abs), a 6-pack (White Claws), all the vacation days I could (n)ever use, a money tree, a lazy river in my backyard….not to mention love, happiness, world peace, yada-yada-yada.
Those are needs vs wants {notice the ‘s’ at the end of the words}.
I’m a big believer of words. I love to search and search and search until I find just the right word for what I’m trying to express (if the right word even exists in English). I could play on Thesaurus.com all day long…
I believe in the potential of words and believe the words we choose to use have power over our minds.
The word ‘need’ implies a lack or inability. There’s an unspoken second half to the sentence:
I need money….because I don’t have any.
I need help…because I can’t do it myself.
I need to get in shape…because I’m fat and ugly.
Right? That’s what you’re saying to yourself when those things. Try this instead:
I want more money…so I can choose how I spend more of my time.
I want help…because it would lighten my load and allow me a little relaxation.
I want to get in shape…so I feel as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside.
Do you see how that changes the second – unspoken – half of the sentence? I don’t know about you, but I feel so much more empowered by using the word want.
And, I’m going to tell you, using want instead of need in questions empowers those around you just as much!
- Do you need want help because you can’t handle it yourself?
- Do you need want some alone time because you seem a little stressed out?
- Do you need want some coffee because those bags under your eyes are getting a little out of control?
- Do you need want me to go to the store for you because you can’t take care of the household tasks?
Can you see how that one little {four-letter, I might add} word can make such a difference in connotation?
I double-dog dare you to really exam the words you use with yourself (and others) and see if you’re inadvertently tearing yourself down…
PS: if you liked this little ‘mind hack’ may I also suggest giving Gratitude Journaling a try? Here’s my mini-journal to get you started.
