Sometimes I get sad at 'weird' times….

[Crystal W]

Like when it’s a beautiful day outside and I think about what I ‘could’ be doing if Madelyn were here. We’d be playing outside or at the park. Does anyone else do that too?

[Christi S]

I think about how life would be different if my first pregnancy had actually worked out. It’s very strange thinking about if I hadn’t gone through that sadness I wouldn’t have one (or maybe either) of my two children. It almost makes me feel guilty for being sad about that loss because without it, they may not be here. I also think about your Maddie sometimes and how big she would be!

[Crystal W]

🙂 Me too! There such a thin line I think and maybe that’s why we feel guilty when we think about what could have been …the whole butterfly effect thing…

[Christi S]

Butterfly effect… totally forgot about that! But, yes, that is it!

[Jes T]

I am already panicking about how I am going to survive Mother’s day. And that I should be spending it with the two children that I spent it with last year. Not hoping that the meds I am on will keep me from crawling under the covers and crying all day.

[Meredith M]

Mother’s Day is really rough. I thought after almost 8 years it would be easier. It makes me feel guilty.

[Crystal W]

You and me both sister! I feel almost guilty every year for feeling crummy all day and not particularly wanting to celebrate MY mother. It makes me feel selfish, which makes me feel even more guilty…

My feelings are all over the place. I often think about what life would be like had we not lost our middle son. He was diagnosed with Down syndrome prenatally and with a severe heart condition so if he had survived life would have looked very different for us. I likely wouldn’t have had my youngest son bc I would have had my hands full tending to a child with special needs. Either life would have been wonderful because either way I would have been a momma but either life would have also been full of grief. Had he loved I think I would have grieved the loss of a “typical” childhood and adulthood for my child… it’s all so emotional.

[Crystal W]

Oh Kendall! That’s mother’s grief/guilt at it’s worst! You want it all, but the very best of it all, and you feel bad for wanting it – but not wanting it – but really wanting it 😘 You gave me an idea for a new topic :::off to start it:::

[Emily H]

Do you count miscarriages in this forum? If so, I get a little sad every time someone asks me how many kids I have. 🙁 While I know I should just be grateful for the 4 I have, I will never forget the 5th baby that I would have had.

[Crystal W]

Miscarriages absolutely ‘count’! You start making plans for that little one and you’re life with them the second you find out our pregnant. If nothing else you have to grieve the loss of that ‘reality’ too…