It just about gave me a panic attack. I actually had to sit down and take big, deep breaths (in through the nose, out through the mouth)…
I went to back to the fertility clinic. Not because I need their services but because the doctor I followed around the country is back in Kansas City and I wanted to take them some brochures and such.
As I walked through the door to the clinic I felt the air get sucked out of the room, it was almost like an out of body experience… I checked in and asked for my contact and sat down. Things seemed to unfold in slow motion and I almost felt like I was drunk – meticulously focusing on every word and every action.
I held it together, no waterworks or erratic behavior….but I definitely couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The funny thing is, though, I WANT to go back. I WANT to be able to help other mamas work through their feelings. I WANT them to know they’re not alone – no matter the outcome.
…let’s just see what happens next time…
I definitely know that feeling.